A Journey through Life

Recently I learned that a childhood classmate/friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She is 35.  My mother called last weekend to share this news.  I was somewhat dismissive of my mother during the conversation but I think she said that it is stage 4.  My understanding is that stage 4 is terminal in most cases. 

I first met this woman when we were both 5 years old and on the first day of first grade many years ago.  We went to the same small Catholic school for 8 years and then on to the same public high school together.  In grade school we were friends in our middle school years off and on and then in high school we had different friends but did stay in contact through the church youth group that we both participated in.  We went our separate ways in college and on occasion I would see her when I went back home as we belonged to the same church.  I knew that she was a teacher, had gotten married, had a son, and possible a second son but that was as much as we had stayed in contact. 

She has been on my mind since a few days after my mother called.  I suppose that the weight of what is going on and how serious the situation is finally sunk in.  Since then she has been on my mind and memories of years long ago have been surfacing.  I also find myself wondering how she is, what she is going through, and how it must be to have to face what she is facing.  The thought of leaving my son without a mother and leaving my husband behind is unbearable and unthinkable, I can't even imagine how she is coping.  It has been a sort of wake up call to remember what is most important in my life not that I have forgotten but that I need to remember to hold them closer and tell them I love them more often.  It breaks my heart that my old friend must face something so soon in life before she has had time to fully live. 

I am unable to contact her through her facebook profile but I just have this need to reach out to her even knowing that there more than likely will not be a response.  I am not expecting one and don't need one to feel better.  I will feel better just knowing that I let her know that I care.  Maybe that is selfish of me, but I just think that considering how long we knew each other I would feel terrible if I did not reach out to her.  This has affected me too deeply to simply let it pass without a word.  It is my hope that it will bring her comfort but if not, then so be it.